Even if a guy truly cares about you and only you, he still has it in him to go off and ram some babe he just met. I trusted you with my heart and you wouldn't … The one who isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re settling in life or not standing up for yourself or not doing what you need to do. If he’s playing the game where he comes on strong and then pulls away, you have to let him pull away. I’m convinced that learning to let go and let God have His way in our lives is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Let him know that you are spending time with other guys and your friends. He said he wanted something serious, and after a few intense dates, he said he … I want to let him go, because he’s asked for space, and said he doesn’t love me, because he’s had the wall of issues where he could realistically trust to open himself up to love someone again. My boyfriend just broke up with me after 3 years because he just couldn’t commit to me. I felt pathetic for so long because I let you break my heart, but that means I gave it to you in the first place. By it, I mean hot, passionate, drunken, meaningless, sweaty sex. He has to come to the realization on his own that he no longer wants to be a victim of his past. If a man didn't see you as a long term girl, he wouldn't introduce you to anyone. Before I accepted the transfer, we discussed where we were going in our relationship and we both said that we were in this for the long haul, but wanted to live in the … I had grieved the relationship (what I had invested in it) after I let him go (and saw how he responded), so when he came back I wasn’t vulnerable to him. So, when a woman doesn’t want to commit to a guy, it’s almost always because she’s just not very attracted to him or in love with him. If he’s hesitant about committing because of what he went through before you came along, there’s nothing you can say or do that will make him change his mind. ... Well, he wouldn’t! But the truth is, you can’t help him—he can only help himself. BF & I have been together for almost 2 ½ years. He isn’t afraid to admit when he’s wrong and is willing to work on his weaknesses. I hope you understand.” If he still doesn’t leave you alone after that, it is his problem, not yours. If he really loved you he would not do half the things I just listed. He would say “just keep being my friend”. ... go of him for less than 24 hours multiple times because of stupid fights but always came back. All too often, women say to themselves or their friends: “Well, he wouldn’t commit in the past, but I’m different. Wives commonly go on sex strikes, and threaten him with loss of his children, all assets, and future income if he looks elsewhere for what his supposed “wife” doesn’t want with him. Now here you are likely feeling stressed, worried, even rejected because he won’t commit to you. Men who aren't emotionally attached to you will have little problem dumping you the moment that things start to go sour. He would love me like crazy and treat me like a queen everyday, but never really commit to anything future. Oh yes, I can. My ex and I had been together for three years. Just because he can't commit now doesn't mean he won't commit later. He said he wants me but he cant commit. He’s strong enough to take charge, and yet strong enough to let you take charge, too. Am I right? Don’t commit to him until you know he’s got your back supporting you, encouraging you, making you better and making you want to achieve more. He wasn't sure because we had only just began to know each other, and have only met a handful of times. I’m sure they’ll tell him what they saw and he won’t be able to believe what they’re saying. Lastly, he doesn't bail when things get bad. ... of being alone, fear of being “mean”). That’ll make him go crazy about you because he knows that deep down he isn’t over you yet, he just pretends that he is. I asked him to let me know if he sees me as his forever or if not- let me go…He won’t do either. That’s a recipe for disaster. Boyfriend won’t commit but doesn’t want to break up, either ... until I asked him if he felt the same and he said no. He wouldn't commit so I walked away. You’re screaming, “Yes, Hallelujah!” You want to know where this man is and why you haven’t met him. Let him go not because he didn’t make you happy but because he made you sad so often. I am heart broken over it…. Period. I just got back 2 days ago and while I was there I asked him if he liked me or had feelings for me, he looked sad but said no he doesn’t have feelings for me and he can’t like anyone because he doesn’t like himself. Or perhaps he seemed so into you, you were both sailing into a blissful commitment, then suddenly he just wants to be friends, he won’t commit, or says he’s not ready. He can change her mind by making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him and by attracting her in new and more appealing ways, but only if he changes his approach to her. [Read: How to know the signs and avoid the immature man] When he won’t commit but won’t let go, give him one final chance. Let him go. Low and behold, he has come back again twice, but he couldn’t give me what I needed and really wouldn’t acknowledge that he was unavailable. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to speak up of why he doesn’t want to commit now. If he truly doesn’t want a relationship, he’ll probably fire up with jealousy without changing his opinion. I really need your opinion on what I should do noting that I’m a giver and I really go out of my for him more than he does. Yesterday I broke up with him because he told me he never plan to be married. He says he doesn’t want to get married or move in together, but he … Let him go not because he’s a bad guy but because he’s not good for you. Let him decide on his own because the last thing you want to do is guilt or pressure him to make his way back to you when his heart is telling him otherwise. He said that he likes spending time with me, and my company, but that a relationship is something he won't just commit … And for him, it will mean absolute nothing, because he… Here’s a little taste of what one of my men who wouldn’t let me go wrote in my very own journal: “Shannon, I have so much to say. I agree, with flower I just let go a hiy myself who wouldn’t commit to me either all he did was play with my head like he wanted a future with me. We actually met when we were living in different cities (mutual friends set us up), but I got a job transfer and moved here about a year ago to be closer to him. Just don’t be too obvious and needy. Let him go not because he won’t commit to you but because he’s the one who doesn’t deserve your loyalty. Try showing him that you have other options out there other than him and let him know that if he doesn’t want to commit, someone else will. When I was 27 I started seeing a guy (let’s call him Brad), who was 10 years my senior. Then, go and live your fabulous life without his childish games. Moreover, this is a good indicator that he sees you as long term material. He didn’t know what he wanted in his life. He knows where I stand _ he is who I want, but I can’t get a straight answer out of him. You’re left wondering what makes a man want to commit? And that the last thing on your mind is him! Yet because he insists that he wants to be with you when you’re ready to leave you actually start to buy into the “he won’t let me go, so he must love me” perception. Now he "realized what he had" and "doesn't want to lose me". He can break her mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Each time I did try to leave him, he wouldn’t let me go, but tell me he wants to be with me. If he hasn’t explicitly locked you down and asked for a committed relationship, then you’re not exclusive with him. The man i wanted to marry left me 3 months to our wedding ceremony and my life was upside down.he was with me for 4 years and i really love him so much..he left me for another woman with no reasons..when i called him, he never picked up my calls and he don’t want to see me around him…so,when i told the man what happened. He won’t commit but won’t let me go either. He is not someone that I would date again, but I continue to keep him in my life. And yes, that’ll make him crawl back to you to ask to be with you again. Many mentees, readers and clients have asked me: "I'm in a relationship with a terrific guy/gal but it's been 3 years (or 2, 4, 5 or more years) and he/she won't commit. What I don’t understand is….and this is mostly about myself…is that I know for a fact that if my exboyfriend, whom I am still in close contact with, would become a major part of my life again, which is never going to happen, but if he did..I wouldn’t want him. Even if you aren’t busy, tell him you are! He can cheat on her and disrespect her. Mr Unavailable is so shady on the commitment front that even when you tell him to beat it, he can’t even let things be. He broke up with me last year January and I managed to get him back with 30days no contact rules. We have been fighting a lot more because I’m scared of getting hurt. ... Basically the way I see it was he didn't want to commit because he wants something "better"... plot twist he couldn't get someone "better" so now he comes crawling back. If we believe, as it says in Colossians 1:17, that God “is before all things, and in Him all things hold together,” then we can trust and know thatHe’s got everything under control. But never done anything through actions so I walked away screw him I’m not about to continue to waste time on someone who isn’t sure, or don’t wanna be with me.. He doesn’t want to commit .can this 30days nc works for the second time. I can see your hands now waving in the air. The rule is to be exactly as committed to him as he is to you. I ask him if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore to please tell me he won’t even give me an answer he changes conversation all the time or pretends he is sleeping and pretends he doesn’t hear me. He just avoids this conversation. His response was he wasn't sure and he's not sure he feels anything yet. Show Disinterest In His Life. But then goes and holds your hand as you do it. He will start to realize that you are moving on and living your life without him. He Hasn’t Gotten It Out of His System Yet. I’m thankful for knowing such a dynamically talented, spiritual, intelligent and beautiful woman.” ... I’ll let him suffer a few seconds longer, then take him back and have the perfect life.